8 Ways to Boost Your libido

I thought I’d drop in quickly and just share with you 8 tips to booooossssttt Your Libiiiidddoooooooooooo….

Okay so first things first loves – when you struggle with libido issues there are very likely the stress, anxiety and fear factors playing in your life that could potentially be well making things go “Down”.

There are also the factors of menopause or various hormonal issues that also plays a role. But for all intents and purposes, let’s say you wanna boost “Mr Winky” and “Miss Vajayjay”…

Now please note I am NOT a Herbalist. If you want to know more in terms of the herbal support, my amazing friend and Medicinal Herbalist Katherine Bellchambers-Wilson is suppppeeerrrrr duper clued up on these things.

She’s in the UK, and seriously one of the MOST BADASS women that you will meet and I love and respect this woman tremendously! This post is not a supplement recommendation post, I want to also just mention this. Some herbs sold in the shops shouldn’t be just taken willy nilly – they can do damage and if you mix them with meds without the proper guidance you could potentially create a well – shit storm.

So be warned.

Okay let’s get going shall we???

TIP 1 – Healthy Eating – Now – I’m not asking you to go on a diet, I’m simply asking you to look at what you’re putting into your body – Food is such a cultural thing and it can be hugely sacred. I choose healthy foods based on what my body tells me – so You’ll see me eating a lot of fruits and veg and a moderate amount of protein.

I also find that I love to make my eating process sensual for myself.

I always remind myself that when I’m eating, I’m actually feeding my temple. And I am worshipping myself by giving myself the very best and healthies choices that is personally available to me. I will make eating sensual and a meditation… Oooohhhh it’s already getting hawt in here. She fans herself getting all rosy cheeked and such.*

Closing your eyes, and enjoying each bite, savouring that moment and absolutely being present to that experience is seriously something super amazing. It awakens in you the piece of you that recognizes the sensuality in life.

I believe in eating vibrant healthy food that is alive. It is filled with life, and now I’m also a firm believer in intent. So before I eat, I will thank the food for being there to sustain and heal me, to nourish me on all levels. And this in itself once again brings in that sacredness, that sensual experience.

Tip 2 EXERCISE or SEXERCISE or SEXYCISE

Move your body – seriously the most underrated thing. I feel so sexy when I’ve done some weight lifting or if I’ve gone on a hike. I feel like I can achieve ANYTHING. In some cases people with serious health conditions cannot do heavy workouts – in that case – learn breathwork and gentle body movements, so you’re not flaring up your Fight flight freeze responses.

Some exercise actually activates this and places the body under a lot of strain. I used to be one of those people. I can now safely do weight training 5 days a week and hike and run over weekends without any issue. But even when you do light movement, stretching etc – remind yourself to be so present in your body – feel the sensual movement, just like a cat stretching out after a beautiful nap.

Exercise helps to release feel good hormones. Now SEXYCISE – this is for the brave of heart – but seriously – this actually after a few days and weeks allows you to feel like a Goddess / God in your own body. DANCE IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR.

And as any emotions arise, remind yourself that YOU are a temple.

You are DIVINITY.

Place your hands over your heart and say to yourself “I am a temple of the Divine, I worship at my own temple”, “I am safe, my body is safe, it is safe to worship my temple, my sexuality is safe, I am safe”.

Repeating that over and over again as you dance naked. Do this for a week or two daily. I really recommend couples doing this together as well – this really ups the libido, and before you know it you’ll notice arousal, as long as the relationship is healthy and in a relatively good place.

Also getting jiggy with a partner that has the hands of magic and that absolutely knows to play and pleasure you FIRST before there is anything else. That teasing and playing really helps to awaken that libido…

3 – Connection of the Intimate Kind This will look like the two of you doing some connection exercises like eye gazing, combined couples breathwork, mutual masturbation, simply touching each other without any penetration or orgasm, but simply being in the present moment of serving your partner. OR masturbating by yourself, getting to know your own turn ons and likes and dislikes. Really worshipping your p@ssy or your c0ck. You might also consider doing a “Pleasure practice” which is breathwork, combined with masturbation or meditation and sacred sexuality practices (more to come on that). Excuse the pun!

4 – Magnesium in Chocolate helps to raise serotonin in the brain, now we’re not talking about your traditional Cadbury’s crap. We’re talking your 70% – 90% cocoa content. Cadbury’s etc is just sugar and milk and cream and a little cocoa. The higher cocoa content chocolate also doesn’t require that you eat an entire bar, but one or two blocks are more than sufficient.

It contains a substance called Phenethylamine, and this is a chemical that is found naturally in the body. And this triggers the release of dopamine in the body, which is also triggered during sex.

5 – Activating your senses through smell is another way – usually essential oils are recommended – I err on the side of caution, speak to a professional before just willy nilly going out and buying them. There are good quality one’s and other’s that are simply just perfumes and not so good for you. The main thing here is, most of the good quality oils reduces stress.

And when stress is reduced and you’re in a space of calm your libido goes – “Well helllooooooooooooo, fancy meeting you here. Fancy a shag?” Anytime you’re working with your sensory system you’re being bought back into your body – and this allows the primal side of you to get all wild and fancying a romp. 

6 – Ohhhhh Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhh yesssss, If you’re the owner of a P@ssy – orgasming as much as possible raises your oxytocin which is your bonding hormone and is also known as the love molecule. It promotes bonding and trust and of course makes you feel suppppeeerrrr duper good. Right? right? right?

You also release more oestrogen. Now the fun thing, this tag team lowers cortisol which is responsible for stress. And stress is the killer of creativity, of joy, peace and happiness and of course your libido – now don’t get me wrong – there are healthy levels of stress too.

However – many people are hypervigilant and in constant states of stress. Regular orgasms helps to support your hormonal health and they really help you feel “nourished”.

I know that Mama Gena actually did a little self experiment where she during her period would let herself orgasm as many times in one day – this killed her appetite and made her feel really healthy and pain free.

Oh and of course the more you orgasm, the more you’re going to feel sexier and just alive and sensual.

7 – If you’re the owner of a penis, you might want to ejaculate less – when you’ve ejaculated prolactin is increased, and this creates a state of lethargy in some men.

Also in Classical Tantra – seminal retention is practiced to conserve your Yang energy, which means you’re less prone to leaking or losing your vital life force.

Now this is once again case by case.

Dopamine also decreases after you have ejaculated, some men will experience something called “Little Death” – it means they feel down or depressed.

Men can absolutely have an orgasm without ejaculation, there is in fact a difference. Men have an orgasm for the first couple of seconds before they ejaculate. And yes you can have multiple orgasms. It’s possible.  

So you can choose to be a bit picky about when you do ejaculate or you can practice delayed ejaculation. Once again – Caution should be noted. These practices can have their own issues – You have to also choose what suits you best as the owner of a penis.

8 – QUIT THE PORN. GASP YOU BITCH! MARYKE HOW F@CKING DARE YOU?! Yup I went there. Porn floods your system with what we refer to as synthetic amounts of dopamine, your body works on it’s own balances and what you’re doing is you are creating higher amounts of dopamine that in the end starts to train your brain to only respond to porn.

Remember Pavlov’s dogs?

Yup.

Porn does that.

Few people realize that it messes with their neurochemistry and also ends up causing more issues with depression.

The more porn you watch – the more you end up requiring more riskier porn or stimulation. You become completely dependent on porn and when you do find yourself in a relationship you might struggle with erectile failure or no or low libido, because you trained your brain to respond to this certain stimuli only.

Porn is responsible for many people’s relationship and sexual issues. Start to learn to focus on your pleasure and to do conscious masturbation instead.

This means, breathwork, being in the moment, circulating energy through your energy system and so on (More to come on that in the future too).I hope you enjoyed this bit of information and that it will serve you well. To your Epic Pleasure.

Love

Maryke