The elusive Vaginal Orgasm…

How did you discover having an orgasm at first? Through your clitoris?

Many women in fact discover their orgasms and their ability to experience pleasure this way. Simply because the clitoris is an external organ.

Our vaginas are wonderfully hidden worlds that are inside our bodies, and for many women vagina’s seem so elusive. Women tend to forget about the inner world they have inside themselves. A space of pure power and personal empowerment.

There are so many wonderful mysteries to be found inside our vagina’s. But very few undertake the journey inside of themselves to find the riches and wealth that is hidden there for us to discover.

And I’m sure on some degree that many of you have asked yourself “How the hell do I have a vaginal orgasm?” You may have read some very misleading information as well about the ability to have a vaginal orgasm.

During my search of my own sexual liberation, I never thought I could have a vaginal orgasm.

And the day it happened shocked me. I had gone through an entire process of Neo – Tantra to de-armour my body and to release the trauma my body had held onto. And it set my world ablaze.

It was fabulous.

Since then I had been able to have orgasms when there is thunder (when I choose), I can have an orgasm from food (when I choose).  So you see we’re very capable of experiencing orgasms when we choose and how we choose.

We can have orgasms beyond just the normal clitoral orgasm.

The thing is majority of women stop at the climax clitoral orgasm and never ever think their bodies can reach deeper more profound states of bliss and ecstasy.

So how does one go about having vaginal orgasms?

The usual way women experience orgasms is based on having a lot of variation, there is this intense build up of sensations and then there is this sudden yet extreme feeling of release.

I guide my clients to slow down the stimulation so that there is a deeper sustained sensation, the goal here is actually to not climax.

Once you’ve climaxed it signals that this is the end of the sexual experience.

However if you instead very gently and slightly and slowly caress your clitoris and the surrounding area, the energy in your body starts to go inwards towards your vagina.

You want this instead of it going outwards.

In Neo – Tantra we don’t aim to “come” with the clitoral peak, for anyone practicing Neo – Tantra they want to experience the deeper more profound body orgasms.

These vibrate the whole vagina and potentially also the cervix. This also helps with de – armouring very deeply.

Once you can allow yourself to forgo the immediate sensations and relief of the climax, you can start to allow yourself to experience climaxes that lead to longer and deeper orgasms later on.

In Tantra there are theories about spiritual experiences during sex, and I’ve experienced these myself.

The one theory is that the cervix is the seat of the spiritual experience. So when you have a cervical orgasm, it goes into more transcendental experiences and as I said, longer orgasms.

As you start to deepen your exploration of your body and yourself on all levels, there is so much to discover and so much to enjoy. There is more than just one kind of vaginal orgasms.

In fact some believe that you can experience a G – Spot and A – Spot orgasms as well.

You can orgasm at the vaginal opening, as well as inside the vagina.  However these orgasms are a lot less localized like with a clitoral orgasm.

The amazing thing about having deeper body orgasms is that they create really deep inner energetic and physiological vibrations that helps to shift your emotional states, this leads to awakening the body and this also helps with brain integration.

A lot of times women struggle with sexuality due to a disconnect and due to cortical control because they have experienced some unsafety and trauma in their lives.

Many people who go through this work experience their hearts expanding, their world changing for the better and they experience a profound ability to ground but to also experience life from a state of thriving.

I want to remind you that this is process.

We have been conditioned around our sexuality and many women carry a lot of emotional and generational trauma around their pleasure and their sexuality.

Considering that women are referred to as whores for wanting pleasure. Considering that being a slut is a bad thing, is it any wonder that we struggle with our sexuality?

In Neo – Tantra, along with specialized coaching and therapy I guide my clients to release themselves from the beliefs that keep them stuck.

Now there is not really a quick – fix in terms of you exploring this completely on your own.

And just like with anything, exploring, practicing and being curious is one of the most amazing ways that you can move into experiencing this.

There are a number of practices that I offer my clients that they go do at home.

I suggest my clients refrain from using their clitoral stimulators, as I said your aim is to actually not go into climax, but to instead awaken your body to other stimulation.

This being said, being able to be present and not in your head all the time is important as well.

In Tantra we work with energy, if you’re going to only build the energy or pleasure or sensations in your clit and you release it through that way, you’ve depleted the energy you have and you won’t have any energy left that can enter and circulate into your body. This is part of having a vaginal orgasm.

Now please note, I’m not saying you’re completely giving it up, but for the time being it is about slowing down so that you can rewire your brain and your body into something that is profoundly wonderful and so much deeper. You can if you like do very light slow touching of your clitoris but nothing more. Refrain from stimulating it too much.

The more you can allow yourself to play and explore and be curious the more you’re going to awaken the pleasure parts of your brain and stop the association of pleasure can only happen in a certain way.

Another practice I teach my clients is to bring in the kegels, these muscles need to be exercised.

And it is really beneficial for you on all levels. Your body can de-armour through the use of a Yoni egg or through kegel balls.

You can also do kegel exercises, this strengthens your muscles.

I found a Yoni egg just allows the body to really play with it and gain energetic empowerment through it. And you’re also releasing so much tension in your pelvis.

When I was delving a bit deeper into Tao Tantric work, we were taught the practice of “Yoni Articulation”, this is various exercises that is performed with breath and Yoni awareness.

Now there are so many positive effects from doing this, it allows you to create a connection between the mind and body – and this as you can think is beneficial in terms of allowing your body to know that energy or physical orgasms is now allowed.

And when you’re making love to your partner, this also allows you to experience deeper sensations.

The other piece of this puzzle is to de – armour your pussy.

Our vagina’s get tense and creates a holding pattern which is referred to as  “armoured” which causes you to lose sensation as time goes by.

This happens because when women are penetrated before they are ready, the body tenses up. It is basically a trauma response in itself because your body is trying to protect itself here.

In previous videos I have stressed how important it is to only be penetrated when you are really ready.

But majority of women don’t allow themselves to be ready. Women have lost touch with their bodies and most don’t even realize that they are doing it.

I teach my clients the various places on their vulva and in their vagina where the most armouring happens, when you press down on these points they release the built up tension.

Many of this you can do on your own, or you can find a trusted Yoni practitioner or you can show someone you trust how to do it for you.

If you’ve been through a lot of trauma, if sex is something that is hugely sensitive it is worth it to work with someone who will hold you in a deeply loving sacred space.

For majority of women as I said there is so much trauma stored inside of their bodies.

The way to know this is when you freeze up during sex and just allow your partner to do what they want. You aren’t voicing your needs or desires. You may feel triggered when you are touched and you might feel like a wave of anger or anxiety floods your system. You may feel that you just completely go numb. All of these are signs that it may be time to work with someone.

Conditions where you cannot be penetrated at all is definitely a sign you need to work with someone. The complete inability to orgasm, or to orgasm only when you use a toy and by yourself is also a form of trauma.

I highly suggest you work with someone who can guide you through this process so that you and your body can feel safe again.

To your Love and Pleasure

Maryke Blom

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