Create More Love

Ways for You to create a more Loving and Amazing Relationship

Your relationship with your partner has the potential to be the most fulfilling experience in your life, in fact relationships actually helps us to grow on all levels. I like to think of Relationships as the portal towards a deeper and more spiritually rich life. However, there are snags that can happen at every step of the way.

No one ever said that relationships were easy!

BUT with that being said – when there are snags, we have an opportunity to really grow and become rich in love, happiness and joy.

The good news is that if you stay proactive, you can foster a loving relationship no matter how many weeks or years you’ve been together. When you create a more loving relationship, you make both you and your partner happy. You won’t find much better than that!

Some of the mistakes that most couples make is that they stop being proactive in their relationship. A lot of things fly out the window and they just stop putting in the effort.

When we become complacent, we’re creating more work in the end than necessary. It’s better to put in 30 minutes of love a day than neglecting Your relationship and then trying to salvage it.

Negligence is the biggest factor of why relationships fail. And it’s a pattern that keeps being repeated over and over again. It should be kicked in the backside.

All it takes is a few minutes a day to stop that from happening. Those few minutes can mean the difference between sitting in a Therapy consultation, or actually having a happier relationship where You don’t have to now try and salvage something.

Here are some tips for creating a more loving relationship:

1.  Show your gratitude.

• If you love your partner very much, then you’re obviously grateful for them. However, you need to learn to express your inner feelings. Your partner needs to know that you’re grateful. It shouldn’t be something that goes unsaid.  Most couples start to struggle with speaking their truth, and when that happens it creates more problems than necessary.

Not speaking the truth and not being able to express Yourself will cause  a break down in Your relationship. Of course, there are ways to  communicate that won’t cause more issues. But that will be covered soon.

You can show gratitude by being more open in your conversations or by taking loving actions by buying gifts or suggesting ideas for quality time. Also, remember the words: “Thank you!”

2.  Incorporate more fun into the relationship.

You two may have separate ideas of what fun is but try doing things together that you both enjoy. It doesn’t have to be anything big and extravagant, just try to find something simple, yet exciting.

• The key is to do something where you both won’t know exactly what to expect. This adds that “special spice” to the relationship and helps stave off boredom.
• Something You could perhaps do together is to feed each other sensual finger foods.
• You could go to a movie or go and take a hike in a Botanical garden.
• You could play board games together – Exploding Kittens and Cards against Humanity – well they are incredibly fun and funny especially with other couples.
• You could go picnic or go to a concert. There are plenty of ways to have fun, and for those on a shoestring budget, there are ways around that too. You just have to be a little creative.

3.  Go out of your way.

• Yes, going out of your way for your partner may take some extra work, but it’ll be worth it! Decide to make a grand gesture for your partner. Do this out of the blue and your partner will really see that you care.
• For example, you could throw them a party or take care of something that you know they don’t like doing.
• You could also find out what their primary love language is and based on that You could find ways to fill their love tank.

4.  Do activities they want to do.

• By making the sacrifice to do something you’re not all that interested in, it’ll make your partner feel loved and honored. Of course, there’ll be interests you share, but make it a point to join in for an activity they really enjoy more than you do.
• If your partner has always wanted to go ballroom dancing with you, perhaps it’s time to bite the bullet and go through with it.

5. Keep their needs in mind.

• As the years go by, it’s so easy to fall into patterns and restricted comfort zones, but you mustn’t forget about your partner’s needs. We are taught to think of ourselves first, and we end up forgetting about our partner. The truth about relationships are – that we should consider our partners (This obviously does not apply if your relationship is one fraught with abuse so please use discernment here)

Ask Yourself how can you serve Your partner today to make them feel loved? Always coming FROM a space of “serving my partner” and I’m not speaking about you being a slave. BOTH of you should have this attitude in Your relationship.

Being in a relationship isn’t about 50/50 = it’s full in. It’s 100/100/. It is meeting each other fully and completely without the ego and the fears.

Once You dump the ego and the fears and the wounding – You won’t be scared or limited in the way you love Your partner. And this is what relationships are about. They are deeply spiritual experiences because they call us to shrug off the old limitations and wounding and patterns so that we can become free from the underlying fears of being judged and criticized.

Relationships call us to our truth; they call us to our awakening. They call us to face the shadow and to learn to make friends with the shadow, so it no longer harms or hurts us, but in it’s stead there is a new and more integrated and healed “Us”.

• If they enjoy an extra hug every once in a while, go give them a hug.
• If they like to talk about feelings and plans, sit with them and talk.

7.  Say: “I love you” regularly.

• It seems that you can never say these three simple words enough. Say it, text it, email it, record it, show it. Do what you have to just to remind your partner of your true feelings. This little phrase actually helps communication, lightens the mood, and fosters a more loving relationship for many years to come.

8. Listen actively.

• While it’s important to express your own feelings, it’s also critical that you truly listen to your partner’s feelings. When you actively listen, you’ll begin to understand your partner in a new, deeper way. They’ll also feel loved because they’ll see you being attentive, and they’ll feel like their thoughts and feelings matter.
• Actively listening requires that You train Yourself in this ability because, when You’re still operating FROM a space of wounding. You will get triggered, but when You become more mindful, and you learn how to hold space – which I will be talking about and I will be covering. You will see that Your relationship will take on a new shape and form. Active listening is a blessing for relationships everywhere.

9. Support their ideas.

• When you agree with your partner’s ideas, make sure that you fully support them in both words and actions. This feeling of support will help your partner feel loved.
• When you don’t agree with your partner, it’s still important to remain loving. Don’t shoot down your partner’s ideas or become overly critical. Accept what they’re saying and suggest alternative ideas if needed.
• Do Your best here to edify and acknowledge Your partner. We are naturally inclined to look for the things that are off or wrong. But train Your brain to really look for the positive. The more You look for good things to compliment Your partner around or support them around, the more You’re going to find.

10. Catch Your partner doing something right and commend them for this.

• The more You do this, the more You’ll find the acknowledge them about. Tell Your partner EXACTLY how their actions or words have contributed something worthwhile and special in Your life.

11.  Learn how to make effective requests from one another.

This is a skill few people have, being able to make effective requests. Yet it can mean the difference between a falling out or a making out session. 😉 Why however do we struggle with this? Well the short of it is that we fear being rejected. And the fear of Rejection doesn’t have a place in a relationship. It causes all kinds of unnecessary issues. Nobody wants their requests to be declined by their partner. So, we risk rather not doing something just so we don’t get rejected.

• But it’s not a healthy strategy at all.  When we fear rejection, it is a sign of low self-esteem, and should be addressed sooner rather than later. Everyone is allowed to say “NO”, it does not mean You have been rejected. It simply means that a request has been turned down. It does not reflect badly on You as a person at all. It doesn’t mean You’re bad or pathetic or that You’re useless. NOT. AT.ALL.
• Start to remind Yourself that You are safe and that it’s okay to ask and for someone to say no. Just because they said no, does not mean they are rejecting You as a person and that something wrong. They are simply setting a boundary, or they simply cannot at that time help out.
• Follow these tips, encourage your partner to do the same, and you can’t help but have a more joyous, loving relationship!

Love 

Maryke

Your Resident Orgasmic Pleasure Queen